Rantings Diversified

The off-season spring primary races are on.  Until 8pm tonight.  Local primaries always kinda’ give me a laugh.  There are always the three overweight women running against each other for something or another, Mayor, city councilor or township council member.  It doesn’t matter.  They are all the same.  One has a logo touting their happy, happy goodness.  It’s usually a sunburst or a bird of peacey kinda’ look.  The other has a block font showing off their commitment to work.  She’s normally the one droning on and on about what she is going to do for the community.  Every once and awhile there is the lone guy running for something who tries to run on his record.  Ha!  What a moroon!  For some reason the mid-fifties white guy, no matter what his record always comes in last.
Right now we have about 9,000 mid-fifties white guys and one mid-fifties white woman running for a judgeship.  How much you wanna’ bet she wins and a couple of guys get in too because it’s a vote for three kinda’ vote.
The sad part of all this are the folks who have no clue what these people are all about.  Most don’t.
Personally when I went into the voting booth I voted for the two guys I know for township supervisors andI voted for a judge that I met volunteering his time at the cathedrals dinner for the homeless.  That’s it.  Everyone else got a big FU from me.
I’m glad it’s over and I’ll be looking forward to more of the Phillies!!!!!!

I was invited to join an exclusive club at work.  It’s the club that makes a hot lunch for everyone Monday through Thursday.  I was given my once a month date and almost three weeks notice.  It didn’t take me too long to figure out that I was going to make my pork barbeque as my first lunch.  Ya’ know I kinda’ wanted to impress so I chose something easy and very yummy.
You don’t really think it went that easy do you?
Oh no my dear readers it didn’t go so smoothly.
My lunch was due to be delivered to my co-workers last Thursday 7 May.  After work on Wednesday I went to the local butcher and bought three loin end pork roasts.  Aw Geez!  Let me tell you the three I picked out were some of the most beautiful roasts I’ve ever bought.  I like the loin ends because the bones are bigger and it’s just better meat.  So I get home about 1830 and put two of them in a slow cooker with a can of beer, Tony Chacheres Creole seasoning, chopped onion and minced garlic.  No big deal I just wanted to cook the roasts well and slow.  I cooked the roasts on low until 0500 the next morning.
Now it’s Thursday morning at 0530 and I make my BBQ sauce and put it on the stove.  I THOUGHT I set the burner to low but…
I went and got in the shower and de-stinked myself only to return to kitchen to find my BBQ sauce smoking.
I proceded to practice my swearing… Allot!!!
I covered the burnt sauce and placed it in the sink.  What to do now?  I decided to practice some more of my swearing.
OK, Adapt, Improvise, Overcome!
After deboning the roasts I dumped some catsup, Guldens brown mustard, Wishyoucouldsayit sauce and some brown sugar.  It didn’t look right so I added a bit of water.  I was still convinced it wasn’t right.  To me it seemed there wasn’t enough BBQ sauce on the meat.  By this time it’s getting close to go to work time so I decided to go with it.
Well I took it to work and plugged in the slow cooker I had it in and set it for low.
I guess with all this build up you guys want to know how it was received.  It was received well!  I mean the folks I work with raved about it.  The best compliment I had was someone said I should quit my job and sell this at county faires.
Well Jayzus!  I am currently cooking the last of the roasts and I hope to standardise that recipe.
Damn I’m good… sometimes and if not by design then by sheer luck.

1.  An armed man is a citizen.  An unarmed man is a subject.
2.  A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3.  Colt:  The original point and click interface.
4.  Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
5.  If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6.  If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7.  Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8.  If you don’t know your rights, you don’t have any.
9.  Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10.  The  United States  Constitution (c) 1791.  All Rights Reserved.
11.  What part of ’shall not be infringed’ do you not understand?
12.  The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13.  64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14.  Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15.  Know guns, know peace, know safety.  No guns, no peace, no safety.
16.  You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17.  911:  Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18.  Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19.  Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20.  If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21.  Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22.  You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23.  Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don’t make more.
24.  When you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25.  The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
And my favorite…
26.  If guns cause crime, then forks caused Rosie O’Donell to be fat.

July heat
throwing a spinner
deep into
it’s heart

it’s gentle
accommodating
calming
cooling
and fresh
right now

it’s in a good mood
this time of year
it’s level is low
it’s vitality is high

with an old pair of hi-tops
walk down the middle
slowly
deliberately
I see a hole
I get ready
I can scare ‘em away with the best of them

I don’t come here to actually catch the fish

I have, in the past few months or so, found some really great blogs
and websites I am feeling the need to advertise here.
So with no further ado.  I present you…  in particular order…

The Blonde Goddess
Here we have a girl who is quickly becoming one of my favorite reads.
She is funny, vulgar, smart and not entirely unlike a female Twenty Major

T.O.T.U.S. – Teleprompter Of The United States
Our P.O.T.U.S., Comrade the Messiah, doesn’t go any where without
his T.O.T.U.S.

Lette’s Blog
I’m not big on Photo Blogs but this girly is about allot more than just her really really good photos

The September 12th Project
Wouldn’t it be great if we would all get back to that way we felt on September 12, 2001?

Now as always I encourage my readers, all three of you, to also check out my favorite web sites.  They also are in no designated order except how they have popped into my head.

Headrambles

Jefferson Davis

The Arse-End of Ireland

K8 the Gr8

The West Virginia Surf Report

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride

Bock the Robber

Twenty Major

That’s The Way it Crumbles .. Cookie Wise

And don’t forget to look over there —>
and go buy the book!!

I don’t know where or how to start this.  I have tried a few times.  Look over at the right hand side of my site and you’ll see a linky thing for the book.  Go buy it.  It’s great.  No, really it is.  I have read quite a few good books recently and this one is my favorite.  It’s over there –>

The auld fella’ known as Grandad is a hoot!  I mean that in a good way.  His book is drawn from his blog and reflects his take on modern society and how looney it has become.  The name itself describes it well.  It’s the ramblings knocking around in Grandad’s head.  It’s a wonderful read in that it takes you away from the daily grind and takes you to the Irish countryside for a short while.  Well it’s Grandad’s countryside and in this countryside tourists beware!  The book will take you on a journey from the sublime to the hilarious and all the way to thoughtful.
Look it’s right over there –>
You can read about his faithful canine Snady (Sandy doesn’t type so well).  You’ll explore his relationship with his frying pan wielding wife, Herself and his daughter with an unpronouncable Irish name aka K8, her fiancée T.A.T. ( The Accidental Terrorist) as well as all the poor folks he comes into contact with on a regular basis.  I’m left with the impression that Bertie Ahern, the former Taoiseach and Grandad may not be best of friends.
The whole thing is well written and funny and thoughtful.  For me it was like going to visit an old friend.
I can’t recommend it highly enough.  So go buy it already.  It’s right there—>

I have seen this meme making the rounds for awhile now.  I stole it from SparkyBing(I love that name) and I’ve seen it recently at Wordnerd as well as other places.
I thought to make this old meme interesting that I would use the answers to the questions in a sentence that directly relates to the subject.
Read on.  You’ll see what I mean.

1.Your rock star name (first pet, current car) – Ringo Dakota
Ladies and Gentlemen!  Just back from their European tour.  Let’s give a warm welcome to The Ringo Dakota Band!!!

2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe) – Vanilla Boots
Yo, G!  Fiddy and Kanye got nothin’ on Vanilla Boots

3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal) – Green Dog ( It should have been my Gangsta’ name!)
The cavalry rode through the pass only to be ambushed by Green Dog and his band of renegade Susquehannok Injuns.

4.Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born) – John Harrisburg
Sarah, who is married to Kyle but having an affair with John Harrisburg, was the only one who knew he was dying of a rare disease last recorded in humans in the early 12th century.

5.Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name) Fitbr
The Federation knew they were in trouble when the entire regiment of Tie-fighters desended on the ship,lead by their ace star fighter, Fitbr!

6.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink) – Black Vodka
Then just as Comrade The Messiah was starting to sign the Anti-Freedom bill, Black Vodka stepped from the shadows and shot his evil nemisis with his Liberty gun and the world was once again safe from the evil clutches of the Demoncrat empire.

7.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers) – Richard John
There are two laps to go as Richard John in the #69 Miller Lite, Dupont, Home Depot, Go Daddy, Nextel, Stuckeys, Office Max, Chevrolet pulls pass Rickky Bobby’s #00 Dodge to take the lead.

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Grey Flannel Three Musketeer
The reviews for the newest dance inspired show on Broadway were at best lackluster but the performance of Grey-Flannel-Three-Musketeer was really the worst this reviewer has ever seen.

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) – Shaffner Syracuse
And now here’s your WWTF first ten at ten, seven day, doppler radar forecast from Shaffner Syracuse.

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower) – Summer Daisey (doesn’t really work for me)
The name is Daisey, Summer Daisey.  (See, it just doesn’t work!)

11.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now) – Apple Sweat Pants (WTF?)
The cartoon name, Apple Sweat-Pants sounds like a friendly streewalking hooker from Sesame Street.

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) – Cold Pizza Hickory
Even while living at the commune Cold-Pizza Hickory refused to eat tofu.

13.Movie (or porn) star name (first pet, first street where you lived) – Ringo Schoolhouse
Ringo Schoolhouse was compelling in his newest romantic comedy, “The Cusp of the Eve of a Bunch of Women Sitting around Talking”.

Ok, so now it’s K8theGr8, JD, Grandad , Roosta and Sam’s turn and of course I want The Blonde Goddess to do this too.
Just because I have tagged these folks doesn’t mean you can’t steal it and do it also.
So, get amognst it!

I have a copy of Rosetta Stone.  This is a language learning software.  I also got the Irish language pack with it along with 11 other languages.  The Irish language is a beautiful thing.  It rolls off the tongue so easily.
Póg mo thóin.
See what I mean?
One thing I have learned from this is that the Irish accent makes alot of sense in the context of the Irish language.  See, most of the time the accent is on the first syllable and with that knowledge it’s easy to see why the Irish mis-pronounce so many words.
They pronounce Trash Cans… Bins
Where we might say that fellow is a, ‘jerk’, they say he’s, ‘a proper cunt’.
We say it’s freezing outside and they say, ‘It’s fuckin’ chilly today’.
See what I mean?
The Irish language is something I’m working on learning so fuck this noise I’m off to throw some Britneys down my Gregory.  I’m learning.
I’ll finish with some common Irish sayings…
Póg mo thóin
Tiocfaidh ár Lá
Ná bí i do bhod bacach
Armáilte go dtí na cluasa
ís aít an mac an saol
Is é Dia amháin a thabharfaidh breithiúnas orm

And I’ll leave you with my favorite…
Ná cailligí an craic

that whenever you end up behind that asshole, on the highway.  Yes, you all have been behind THAT asshole, on the highway.  It should be legal to….
Get up underneath him…
Get him loose….
and put him into the wall!