My eyes are now opened
I want to thank Grandad over at Headrambles Manor, Country Estate, Gun Range, Tech Center, Reading Room, Private Lounge and Bed and Breakfast for setting me straight.
You see for years now I thought we were fighting a war that was pitting the ideals of freedom against the radicalism of a fundamentalist sect of Islam and its adherents.
It’s not a war on terrorism! It’s a war on tourism!!! Had I only known!
All these years I have railed against the Taliban and the blind sheik and even Ramsey Yousef. Now I know it had nothing to do with the horrible deeds these folks perpetrated but the fact they were here from another country, visiting. I am now looking back on the past 6 years and all the folks from other countries I could have taken out and helped in the fight. There were the two girls I met from Belfast last year and the baseball team from the Netherlands last month to name but a few. Had I realized that they are in fact the greatest threat to national security I would have taken them out post haste.
My God I just realized that the company I am contracted to employs hundreds of foreigners. I wonder if the Department of Defense knows about them. I really need to contact them and advise them of this potentially dangerous situation.
Many years ago I knifed a guy from West Acton in London while he was visiting here but he deserved it. Does that count? Now that my eyes have opened to the threat of tourism I have been keeping my eyes and ears open. Why just yesterday I dispatched a family from Japan who made themselves obvious by asking for directions from a Japanese to English translation book.
This past week I took out a couple of New Yorkers who were here on vacation but I know that is just practice.
I can only hope that all of you are on alert for this, the greatest threat to our way of life, Tourism!
Jeez my travel options are being limited by the day. So now the US and Ireland are off limits. Where can I go with my backpack and brow dwelling sunnies? Thank God for Dodge and Vanlla . . . I think at the very least you should bag ‘em, tag ‘em and ship ‘em home!
I wonder who would pull the first trigger if Grandad & Brianf came face to face.
I have a funny feeling the pistols would be loaded with Jameson Irish Whiskey!!!!
Remind me to avoid PA in future trips.
EEk.
Grannymar – Brian and I are friends.
I would greet him with open arms.
I would shake him by the hand.
I would havd a pint of Guinness and a chaser of Jameson with him.
We would catch up on gossip.
Then I’d shoot him.
Tourism is a terrible threat. It hits here every year around Christmas time. All the locals have to go undercover. This is not an unwise move as one year the tourists blew up Planet Hollywood. What has the world come to.
Grandad – I like your style.