When Insults Had Class
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – MarkTwain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” —-Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… If you have one.” — George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill…followed by Churchill’s response: “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” — Winston Churchill
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”– Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” — John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” — Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” — Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”– Paul Keating
“He had delusions of adequacy.” — Walter Kerr
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” — Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”– Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
Winston replied, “Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!”
Oscar Wilde was the man!
Evidently, he was a gentleman’s gentleman. He was a cool cat way before his time.
The one by Clarance Darrow – Classic!
I had forgotten some of these grand insults of yore.
I’ve always been keen on the Astor – Churchill exchange. Would that one’s own ready wit were that rapier sharp when required – trouble is I always seem to come up with the cutting remarks about 8 hours later. Damn.
May your chickens turn to emus and knock yer dunny down!
Classy enuf for ya!
The shiver one sounds like a lot of the men I’ve dated.
And I’m acquainted with several people who’s obituary I’d read with pleasure.
Eloquence is a lost art.
Jen